


learning to be brave

by icemakestars



Series: Fairy Tail Dads AU [39]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Chance Meetings, Childhood Friends, F/M, Reunions, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24808327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemakestars/pseuds/icemakestars
Summary: Erik has been hung up on his first love for years, had given up on ever seeing them again. But then he visits Natsu in the city, and everything becomes just a little more likely.
Relationships: Cobra | Erik/Meredy
Series: Fairy Tail Dads AU [39]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555675
Comments: 3
Kudos: 6
Collections: Fairy Tail Dads AU, Fairy Tail LGBTales, Fairy Tail Rarepairs, I Take Pride in What I Am 2020





	learning to be brave

**Author's Note:**

> I started this in january and just kept forgetting about it ughhh... it was originally for rarepair week but whatever, it's done now. 
> 
> For the prompt: learning

Erik had spent the majority of his life alone, so he didn't mind it much anymore. It was what he was used to after all, caused people to become overwhelming for him in long exposure. Erik had his snakes and lizards and toads; they were company enough for him, as were the small, select group of friends who he saw from time to time. Sorano was usually busy with family and her salon, and Sawyer travelled from city to city with work. They were rarely permitted time together anymore, but Erik understood why. Life came first, that was just how it had to be. 

Natsu had only been in his life for a short time, but the friendship they built was still special to Erik. It was difficult for him to open up, and yet Natsu made it so very easy. He was the type of person who Erik usually avoided, which was what made Natsu the exact kind of friend which Erik so sorely needed. Still, he understood why Natsu had moved away. His wife was so young when she died, Erik didn’t know how he would have coped with the loss. Natsu had taken his children back to Magnolia, and that had left Erik alone once more. It had taken time to adjust, but solitude was one of Erik's easiest adaptations. 

"Thanks for watching, and don't forget to subscribe." He smiled into the camera as his albino scaleless ball python curled across his shoulders. Reaching forward, Erik clicked the camera off and slumped with a sigh. He knew that, generally speaking, he was not the most likeable of people, so he made an effort for his YouTube channel,  _ Cobra's Cave _ , to come across as more approachable, even when surrounded by reptiles. 

Erik placed his snake back into its hide, watched with amusement when its forked tongue tested the air, waiting for more food. 

"This is why you're the fan favourite, Cubelios." Erik slid the glass divider shut and clipped it securely in place. "Because you're so fat." 

The snake slithered off begrudgingly, and Erik turned to face his unusually messy room. This was the last video he had to film before leaving for Magnolia, an eight-hour round trip which Erik didn't know if he was excited for or not. He just wished that Natsu would come to him for once, save Sorano the hassle of checking on his pets during the few days that he would be absent. 

Erik stuffed his clothes into a duffel bag, packed a book and some earphones for the journey and double-checked his ticket. It was in the back of his wallet, where he always kept it, but when Erik pulled it out another square of paper came with it, ripped in one corner and browning with age. He thumbed it carefully, fondly, eyes not drawn to the childlike image of himself but to the person who stood next to him. Pink hair ruffled, smile gap-toothed, and eyes which were always glistening with mischief, Erik missed his childhood friend Johnathan every time he thought about him, which seemed to be more and more regular now he was older. John had been the most beautiful person that Erik had ever met, had made Erik realise that he was attracted to how people were rather than their sex or gender, but then John had moved. Or maybe, more accurately, he had run away. Erik had been fifteen, John thirteen, and every day Erik wondered how a kid had survived on their own. Still, he tried not to dwell on that darkness for long, wanting to imagine him happily living his life to the fullest, not shivering on the streets. He pushed the ticket back into his wallet, the picture to the back of his mind, and settled down on his bed. There were snakes left to feed, and some packing to do, but Erik felt confident that he had time to relax, mentally preparing for the exhausting journey which he would have to endure tomorrow. 

* * *

He hated Magnolia, it was too busy, too industrial. It lacked the soul he sensed in the land back home. This was not helped, of course, by the fact that Natsu had requested to meet right in the middle of the city, where he worked. Erik adjusted the bag on his shoulder and checked his phone for the directions which Natsu had sent the day before. An unread message from Sorano sat in his inbox.

_ Before you ask, your snakes are all fine.  _

She always told him that he worried too much, but he firmly believed that she didn’t worry enough. Reptiles were delicate creatures, and Erik didn’t want human incompetence to become a risk to their safety. This wasn’t the first time that Sorano had looked after his pets, so Erik just replied with a thumbs up and pulled up an old message from Natsu instead. The instructions were reasonably comprehensible for Natsu: head towards the shopping centre, left at the lights, near the bright yellow building. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find. Part of him was nervous; he hadn’t seen Natsu since his eldest was a toddler and his youngest a baby. So much had changed, but their friendship had remained a soothing constant. Erik was more than willing to put faith in that. 

He was right, the bar was very easy to find. Erik only got lost once, but the name was so unusual that the first person he asked led him easily to where Natsu worked during the week. 

“So this is Crime Sorciere, huh?”

The building was more run down that Erik had expected, lights barely flashing in the early evening sky. The second ‘e’ had given up completely, and Erik let out a shaky breath. This was why he didn’t have many friends. Socialising was just too exhausting. 

* * *

Inside the building was a lot nicer than its exterior. Plush leather seats gave way to large square tables, and there were booths lining every wall except one, where the bar was sat. It was well lit, and the music was just slightly too loud for Erik’s sensitive ears. On all accounts, it was a pleasant place. Erik could see the appeal of working here, but also knew that Natsu would work anywhere to provide for his family. He was just lucky to have scored what seemed to be a decent enough job. 

There were few customers, just two middle-aged men watching a silent football game on the television anchored above one of the booths, and a group of girls whispering in hushed tones, pointing to the bar and giggling. Erik followed their gaze and found Natsu, drying glasses with a tattered white rag. 

Erik wasn’t the shouting type. That was more Natsu’s style. Instead he dragged himself and his belongings across to the bar and tapped his hand on the wood to get Natsu’s attention. 

“I’ll have the usual.” 

When Natsu’s face lit up, Erik couldn’t help but grin. It really had been too long. 

“Erik, man, it’s so good to see you!” Natsu hopped over the bar and pulled Erik into a tight embrace. He would have been embarrassed, being hugged so publicly, but it felt good to be around Natsu again, and this place was hardly taking a grand an hour. Erik settled into the content feeling of simply being with his friend again, and pulled away with a bark of laughter. 

“I know it is.” 

Natsu rolled his eyes, shoved his fist into Erik’s arm playfully. 

“You haven’t changed. Still an arrogant weirdo.” 

“And you’re still an eyesore and an annoyance.” 

They were laughing again, as though the air was made of nitrous oxide and they were gasping for breath, and Erik wondered if being with others had ever felt this easy, or if that was uniquely Natsu. 

Natsu picked up the rag again and wiped down the bar. “I finish soon. Do you mind waiting?” 

Erik pretended to think about it. “Get me a drink and I’ll consider it.”

As he settled into a stool next to the bar, Natsu shook his head with a smile. He poured a beer and shoved it towards Erik, wafting at his hand when Erik offered his card. Still, Erik was insistent; the better the patronage the longer Natsu had a job for. Reluctantly the other man swiped Erik’s card and handed it back to him. 

“Who has the kids when you’re here?” 

The mere mention of his children had Natsu beaming. “Erza is taking care of them for me.”

Erik tried not to flinch, but there was no point. Natsu may be stupid, but he was no idiot. He raised a brow. 

“You don’t need to be scared of Erza, man.”

Erik stared at him, dumbfounded. “You have met your sister, right?”

Natsu huffed out a laugh but didn’t push it further. Erza had come to see Natsu at uni, as regular as clockwork, but Erik had never grown accustomed to her stern attitude or strong disposition. He didn’t think that he could take her in a fight, and in no way wanted to try. 

“So am I gonna meet the monsters tonight?” 

“If by monsters you mean my  _ kids _ then yeah.” Natsu shot him a glare, and Erik sipped his beer innocently. 

He pretended not to care, pretended as though he didn’t have toys and clothes in his suitcase for them based on what Natsu had mentioned in passing that they liked. Erik didn’t dislike children, he had just become accustomed to his own company and habits; he had lived the bachelor life so long that he couldn’t even imagine where a family would fit in to it. And besides, the first step would be to fall in love. He had only done that once, a long time ago, and still cherished those feelings. Erik knew he should let them go, but honestly just didn’t know how. Subtly, Erik swiped his thumb over the back of his wallet, where he knew the image of himself and Johnathan as kids would be, and sighed. 

“Meredy, didn’t expect to see you here today.” Natsu smiled over Erik’s shoulder, and even though he knew that it was rude, Erik didn’t turn to greet the person who was obviously Natsu’s acquaintance. He had met too many new people today, and there was no doubt more to come. Erik felt as though he had earned this moment of ignorance. 

“Well Ultear needed some stuff picking up, so I thought I’d swing by and grab it whilst I was in town.” 

A woman’s voice, sweet and faintly familiar. Erik didn’t have the energy to question where he would have met her before, and was already silently drinking his beer when Natsu slapped him on the shoulder. 

“This is my friend Erik from Edolas. He’s staying with me for the weekend.” 

Of course Natsu would introduce him, he was a nice guy. Erik knew that it shouldn’t frustrate him like it did, but the universe just didn’t make people like Natsu often. He shuffled a friendly smile into place and swivelled on the bar stool. 

“Nice to meet you, Meredy.” 

The woman dropped the bags she was carrying, eyes wide and watery, staring at Erik as though she was amazed he even existed. It took a moment for it to click, for everything to fall into place, and then Erik was standing, stool thrown back with his haste, the noise it produced gaining the attention of every customer in the bar. 

“Johnathan?” He blurted without thinking, but flinched against the impact of the name, a physical blow to the  _ woman  _ in front of him. 

She cleared her throat, cheeks flushed and eyes still wide, but now with an added steeliness. 

“It’s Meredy now.” 

Natsu’s eyes were darting between them comically; Erik would have laughed if he wasn’t in several stages of shock. 

“Do you two know each other?” He asked, and when Meredy didn’t answer Erik nodded slowly. 

“We used to. A long time ago now.” 

Nobody moved, and the murmurs throughout the bar felt deafening. Erik didn’t like causing a scene, or being the centre of attention, and Natsu knew that. He grabbed Erik’s wrist and shoved him towards a door to the left of the bar. 

“In there.” 

Erik was in no position to complain, but jumped when the door slammed shut behind him. He had been closed off in a dark, foul smelling room, and was about to start yelling for Natsu to get his damn ass back in there when the door clicked open again, slowly; uncertainly. An overhead light stuttered and then lit the small space, and Meredy was standing in front of Erik again, looking scared and sheepish and maybe just a little bit happy. 

“Please, don’t hate me.” 

Out of all the things that Erik had expected her to say, or even wanted to hear, that wasn’t one of them. It took him by surprise, knocked the breath from him. He needed a moment to recover. 

“Why would I ever hate you?”

Meredy’s expression was incredulous, her mouth opening and shutting, unable to form a reply. And then she laughed, doubling over, waving her hand at him to give her a second. 

“You have noticed all of this, right?” Meredy gestured vaguely to herself, and Erik nodded. 

“I’m not a fucking idiot. I can tell you’ve changed.” 

“Changed.” Meredy yelped, taking a small, shaky step towards him. “Erik, I’m a  _ girl _ .” 

This wasn’t exactly going as Erik had planned, and he had been dreaming of seeing Meredy again for years. But he was still in shock, losing his first male love and gaining another female one in the space of a few minutes had thrown him. Still, her eyes were as beautiful as he remembered; her smile just as radiant. Nothing that really mattered to Erik had changed about her, especially not how he felt. 

“Look,” Erik sighed. “I’m sure you remember that I’m not good with words, but I’m gonna do my best here so if I say anything that’s wrong or stupid, let me know.” 

Meredy nodded stiffly, and Erik took that as a sign to continue. 

“There’s no easy way to say this,” Erik rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “But I figure it’s best to be honest now. I fell for you, when we were kids. Pretty hard actually. Hell, I even carry a photo of us together in my wallet like some kind of loser. But the thing that you made me realise was that I’m attracted to people, not their gender.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Meredy asked, her voice small; confused. Erik didn’t like how the wetness in her eyes had overflowed, hated it even more when he realised that he had caused it.

“I was going to, but when I stopped by your place you had already moved out. I had no idea where you’d gone or how to find you. And I guess it became impossible when you changed your name, but I didn’t know that until just now.” He didn’t want to do this, to make this situation about himself, but Meredy had caused wounds which had only just recently healed. Erik needed answers. 

“Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” It came out more defeated than Erik would have liked, and Meredy seemed genuinely surprised. She fell back against the wall in a dramatic slump, her gaze cast down to the ground. 

“I wanted to say goodbye…” 

“So why didn’t you?” 

A heavy silence fell between them. Erik almost wanted Natsu to come barging in just to break the tension, but he knew that that wouldn’t help. They needed to muddle through this together, no matter how messy it got. 

“I loved you, too.” 

There was a spark of happiness in Erik’s chest then, but the sour emotions that followed were much stronger, tainting everything else until all Erik could feel was anger. He was angry at the years they had wasted, at the time they had spent apart. At himself, for not being a person that Meredy felt she could have trusted. 

“You should have spoken to me, Meredy. You didn’t have to leave.” 

“Yes I did, Erik. You met my uncle.” Her gaze was on the floor, and whatever fight that Erik had found evaporated. Yeah, he had met Meredy’s uncle. He was the biggest dick in the neighbourhood. The reason Erik had befriended Meredy in the first place is because he had seen Meredy’s uncle being a little too hard on her. As a kid he had expected there to be something more that Meredy hadn’t been able to tell him, but he was too young to know the right words to say; the right questions to ask. The answers seemed clear enough now, with Meredy’s eyes like broken marble, pleading with Erik to understand. He did, as much as he could, and took her hands in his. 

“I’m not saying any shit about fate or the universe or whatever, but I would like to talk more, get to see how your life has been here. If you’ll let me.” 

Erik felt hot all over, sticky and uncomfortable and desperate to be back home with his reptiles. They didn’t ask questions or demand emotions. They were cold-blooded, simple creatures. Erik understood them. 

To his surprise, Meredy pulled him into a crushing hug. “Of course, you moron! I’ve missed you so much.” 

Erik tried not to focus on how soft her body was, or the fruity smell of her shampoo, but it was difficult. Meredy had always been a beautiful person, that was a fact that could never change, no matter how much she herself had. Carefully, Erik placed his arms around Meredy’s shoulders and squeezed. 

“I missed you too.”

There were still demons to be exorcised; questions to be answered and years to be caught up on, but seeing each other again was a start. Erik didn’t believe in cosmic guidance, or fate, or any of that crap Sorano spouted whilst measuring his chakra or whatever, but what he  _ did  _ believe in was Meredy, and her capacity to love. Even greater than that was his capacity to love  _ her _ . And he got to do that now, fall in love with her all over again, as the person she was all along.

For once, Erik didn’t regret leaving the house that morning, or spending time with people, because everything had led him back to her.


End file.
